Writing Assignment : What are your Food Rules ? - July 4th

I did this writing assignment on what my food rules are on July 4th when I was in residential. This assignment made me think of my food rules I made up for myself in my eating disorder.

My food rules are based on fears and things in my head, saw online, saw in society, things I believe, things I made up. Some food rules I had were limiting carbs/bread/gluten specifically on such foods like bread, bagels, pasta, pretzels crackers etc. All sweets, junk foods, and baked goods are bad for my body and should not be consumed - cookies, chips, brownies, cake, chocolate, candy, ice cream.

Good foods are nutritious and low in calories, specifically and especially veggies and fruits. Fats should be limited avocado, cheese, nut butters, trail mix. I can't eat more of the same thing in a day such as peanut butter, only one serving. Underserving is better than over-serving. Condiments are wasted calories. Liquid calories are wasted calories. Everything must be measured and positioned in the smallest amounts. Sticking to foods I know the calories of, the nutrition label facts, and ingredients.

I can only eat at certain times of the day. No trying or sampling of any food. Everything is calculated. Every little calorie counts. Always over calculate if not sure to make sure it's never over allowed calories. Meals are chosen by calories, not by cravings. Butter, oil, sauces, etc. not to be used in good / meals. No added extras. Planning what to eat before going to a place. Leave food that wasn't perfectly portioned by myself on my plate.

Must have fast of at least 12 hours from evening to morning eating. Fasted workouts. Eat slow, small bites, small cut pieces. Recovering with food and challenging fear foods will only make me crave them and I won't be able to stop eating them. My body won't even out, I'll never stop gaining weight. I won't be able to find balance within my diet.

These are some of my food rules I had in my eating disorder and thought of when I was writing this assignment in residential.

I know challenge my food rules every day in recovery.

No Retreat. No Surrender. JR

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