Thanksgiving / Holiday Tips Post #1 Topic: Unintentional Triggering comments based on looks

First I want to say thank you for submitting your thanksgiving/holiday topics you want me to discuss here! Second I want to say that these are just my tips on what has been working for me so feel free to try them out and also comment anything you’ve tried that has helped you! Unintentional Triggering comments are hard to deal with because they’re exactly as they’re called, unintentional and triggering. Your eating disorder is going to do anything in its power to trigger you and make any comments feel intentional and twisted. What helps me is having grace and remembering the person saying it means well. Comments related to how you look are not the same as someone saying you’re fat, gained weight, are bigger now etc. the person is not saying those statements they’re saying you look good, healthy, happy etc. it’s important to remember this before your eating disorder begins to “decode” a comment like “you look good” into “you look fat”. I’ve discussed in previous posts that responding with “I feel good” to you look good really does make me feel good because it’s true and it also helps me register the comment as a positive one before my eating disorder can decode it to a negative one. I’m also reminded that people don’t really know what to say and honestly, my eating disorder can decode any positive comment into a negative one if I let it. When I go to family or social events I’m also prepared for these comments, especially form people I haven’t seen in a while. Being prepared helps me know that my eating disorder can easily take advantage so I have an extra guard against it. It’s like I expect my eating disorder to yap so I’m not as surprised when it does or thrown off. Finally, remember the comments are coming from a kind heart. I think about when my grandma tells me I look good and she specifies on my eyes. She tells me how when I was in my disorder they were dull and sunk in and dreary, now she sees them alive, full of life, and sparkling joy. The people around you are noticing you truly living again not just alive and in your disorder, & that looks good


No Retreat No Surrender

JR

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Jackie Rafferty

Jackie Rafferty