My dad told me about this commercial of purpose over praise. We both believe I think too much about others. I think too much about others' opinions specifically with needing or wanting their validation. My dad told me he believes I have more purpose in this world than most. I think that sometimes I want praise and validation from other people in multiple different aspects rather than just doing me and living life.
This hit me hard because in some form I feel like this is where the idea of my perfectionist comes in. Like I desire the validations of doing good, look good, and more, rather than knowing myself and telling myself. I always give compliments, support, and encouragement to others and I have never done those things to or for myself. It's as if I have lived life with thinking the only praise and validation came from others, not also myself. I've always been a very selfless person but throughout that I forgot that doesn't mean not liking myself or not giving myself the love I deserve.
I've always been successful to what I set my mind too. I know so much about myself and I don't ever give myself enough credit - like ever. Even through this recovery, i've validated myself at points but not the whole way or enough. The truth is I just need to live my purpose. there's so much more to life than people's opinions. There's places to see, people to meet, foods to eat, knowledge to learn, gifts to give, gifts to receive, and so much life to live.
It's like how i live fearlessly in my fashion of wearing what I want and feel good and not giving a crap what people think about my outfit is how I need to live my life. I know I care about people and now I need to stop worrying about them and care for myself.
It's a time to really focus in on my soul and discover what is there and what needs to be brought out more into the world. Purpose > Praise.
No Retreat No Surrender