A rainy Tuesday. I'm sad that one of the clients is leaving today because she is one of my two roommates and I know I will miss her. I am also happy for her though, with all of her hard work and it gives me hope for my own recovery and future.
Although, it's chillier today I'm still wearing shorts because I love being in shorts and a sweatshirt and cuddling up. Breakfast this morning was an egg sandwich on an English muffin that consisted of sautéed spinach, two hard boiled eggs, and cheese with a side of an orange. My snack's for today are raisin bran cereal, apple and peanut butter, and Oreos and milk.
Usually I would question my laziness of the day and feel bad but i'm actually appreciating and enjoying it today. I do wish we could watch a movie due to the weather and not having much to do today without the lunch outing. At breakfast this morning it was pouring rain and thundering and it was so dark in the dinning room but I really enjoyed it lol. I'm reading my book about Jackie Kennedy and her sister Lee and i'm really enjoying it. I always find I read a lot in the Summer because it's pleasure reading, and i'm happy to have all this time here to read read read.
My meal plan increased with two of my snack sizes being upgraded which is nice to see that my team is paying attention to my weight and how my body is responding. I'm happy to be on a level of acceptance and trust with my team rather than denial, refusal, and being annoyed / disbelieving. It makes the process easier when you surrender and trust.
I moved up to level two in contract meeting which is exciting! I also got passes approved to go to church, snack outing with my mom and grandma tomorrow afternoon, 15 minute walks, level 2 yoga, and shop and cook. I'm really proud, excited, and happy for myself with these new privileges and challenges and the work i have done thus far in recovery.
I saw my psychiatrist today and he's been thinking about what my out patient team will be once i get to that stage in recovery which is really nice and calming for me to hear that he's already figuring everything out and i don't have to worry or stress about it. We talked about my perfection, passion, and goals for life, I'm going to journal and focus on these things. I have a session with my therapist at 4:40 today, 4pm tomorrow, and 4:30 on Thursday with my parents.
Tomorrow I will be out of the house in the morning for my bone density test, and later a snack pass. It's funny how just because I get to go out of the house the event is exciting - even for a bone density test. Today after contract we had a cooking group where we made cookies so we're having them for evening snack. There's another new client that came today and we will see if she will be my new roommate since I'm in a triple room and there's only two of us now. I know i'm making strides every day here in recovery and for that i'm proud. It's not easy, it's hard work, but i've always been a hard worker and I refuse to loose this battle.
No Retreat No Surrender